Did I Do That???

I never thought I would describe myself, as an adult, as a mallrat.  I didn't consider myself as such in my youth, and it certainly seems odd for a 30-something to label herself in that way.  However, I think Dada and I are both mallrats, and are proudly raising ER to become one too.  Dada has always been one.  If you knew how many conversations we've had centered around his recounting of trips to Wee Three Records and purchasing cas-singles, you'd be reassured that, yes, I married a mallrat.

Photo courtesy of fashiongrunge.com

The mall is awesome.  Here are the reasons why:

1) It's not our house.  We are big fans of being home, but eventually, we like to "get out of the house."  The mall is the perfect compromise, as we are still comfortably sheltered from nature's elements, but now have the treat of being able to gaze upon whatever cross-section of humanity happens to pass through the halls o' the mall on any given day.

2) We have the option to buy.  Food, overpriced coffees, luxury leather goods, cosmetics, apparel, shoes, bean bag chairs now masquerading as major pieces of living room furniture.  It's all there for the taking.  Or not.

3) There's usually a fountain.  Blessed is he who invented the fountain.  He must've had a toddler.

4) You see ridiculous people.  Yesterday, we saw a little girl that was dressed much like Honey Boo-Boo Child scratching her yet-undeveloped left "breast" at a kiosk in the middle of King of Prussia.  I rest my case.

5) Awesome play areas.  Both of our local-ish malls have revamped their play areas.  They are now, in my book, the Cadillacs of playgrounds.  Picture it: a square enclosed by a wall that is about yay high (I'm holding my hand about 4 feet off the ground right now) that is has a partial opening on one side; cushiony flooring in bright colors & patterns; hard, yet soft, play structures in the middle of the compound on which the little ones can frolic; and the best part, cushioned benches for mums & dads all around the perimeter of the area, so that we can sit our lazy butts down in comfort whilst watching our kiddos burn most of the energy they had left for the day.  It's really, really lovely.  Oh, and in case anyone isn't clear, on the height requirement, it's 42 INCHES AND UNDER.  So, that's 6 INCHES taller than ER.  NO KID OVER 42 INCHES HAS ANY BUSINESS PLAYING ON A MALL PLAYGROUND DESIGNED FOR PRESCHOOLERS AND TODDLERS.  But why am I being all passive-aggressive telling the kids this?  Hope their moms and dads are reading this post, too.  It's a safety/following directions thing with me.  That's all.

So, yesterday, there I am, sitting in comfort as I watched my little girl playing on the mall play area while Dada went to a couple of stores, and I became entranced by something I saw her do: she was climbing through a little tunnel, and a couple of kids were trying to get in at the same time, and she moved out of the way and let them go ahead of her.  I was unable to stop the following question from entering my mind: "Did I do that?"

Did I, over the past 30 months, show her or teach her to take turns?  Did I, somehow, instill in her an understanding of the right thing to do?  Did I, actually, lay the groundwork to raise a polite, kind, even-keeled little girl, even around people she didn't know personally?

Moms never give themselves enough credit.  That's a widely-known fact by now. But I was flabbergasted by the thought that I, me, had been able to impart to ER, in only a little over 2 1/2 years, how to get along with strangers.  It was kind of a wake up call to me, that yes, I am doing the right thing, no matter what anyone has ever said or suggested to me, or how I might have compared myself to other mamas on the block.  I would be lying if I said I didn't give myself a virtual pat on the back at that moment.  I was reaffirmed by watching ER interacting with those stranger kids that yep, she was getting it.  She was learning how to be in the world.

The other way to look at this situation is that, maybe, as a girl, ER should have just busted her way in through the tunnel in front of the other kids, their feelings and my sentimentality be damned.  And, if that's your viewpoint, that's ok, but that's not how we roll.  And, if that's what I wanted for her, I doubt I'd be a very sentimental person.  And I wouldn't have as much to ramble about.  And hence, this blog would be for naught.

I get to end 2012 with some reassurance and a vote of confidence for my mothering.  I hope that if you are a mom, or even a dad, you are open to a moment of confirmation in your parenting, and that you receive it soon.

What a nice little girl!